Wednesday, April 25, 2007


weird comment yesterday. i went to pick up the market day order, and the chick in charge asked why i bought 5 boxes of the big-ole pretzels that heat in the oven.
"we all just really love them."
"oh! that's great! i just wondered if you were having an affair."


oh, right. she means a PARTY.

Monday, April 23, 2007

This morning my son jumped on my husband's side of the bed, pretended to sleep, and then pretended to snore. Then he jumped up and told me proudly: "Snoring is important for grown-ups!"
"Well... not exactly...."
"Only for boy grown-ups!"

Thursday, April 19, 2007

my new chest

a very, very long time ago, a lovely woman i knew was moving out of her house to enter one of those nicer assisted living placed for older folks. Evelyn packed up everything she wanted, then her kids and grandkids cleaned out everything they wanted, and then she asked me if i wanted anything.

Evelyn gave me a freezer. an 8.3 cubic foot chest freezer. it is probably the most generous gift anyone other than my parents have ever given me.

yesterday i went into the garage to pull out some frozen bread, and found... mostly defrosted bread. uh-oh. the outlet still worked, that was easy to tell, because plugged in right above it was a little light-up plug, to let me know that the small appliance it was attached to was done charging.

so i called my husband at work, and he offered to try to fix it, but really, that wasn't realistic. the thing could have easily been twenty or thirty years old. we have no idea how old it is, but it was free and it worked perfectly for us for five years or so, and it was clearly done working now.

plus it had two or three hundred dollars worth of food in it.

so, spouse came home, emptied out his minivan, went to lowe's and bought a $268 8.9 cubic foot chest freezer. when it was cold inside, we emptied the old one and filled up the new one.

the stuff at the bottom of the old one was still frozen solid.

i love having a chest freezer. i hope this one lasts till i don't have kids in the house anymore. at least.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

what does godzilla have to do with bedtime, again?

part of the standard bedtime routine around here is a "special extra story" that used to actually be special and extra. ;)

the two older kids start every day with an assumption of three storybooks at bedtime, plus the special extra story (which razi used to earn by reading a book to ME, but that sort of evaporated when his little sister who couldn't read at all got into the act).

one book is for staying clean and dry all day, which should be a given since zora is almost five now, but sometimes she gets lazy. argh.

the other two books are for cleaning up the two downstairs rooms in a timely manner at clean-up time. if they finish in under half an hour, they get both. if not, fifteen minute intervals come to take away the other two books and then the special extra story.

last night zora lost everything. then she had to lose something else even beyond the special extra story, so she lost the priviledge of drinking soda next shabbat. she was devastated. good. maybe she'll learn that screaming fits are not the best way to deal with disappointments.

razi, though, still got the special extra story. now, my spouse is a genius for making these things up on the fly, with prompts the children give him right before. our cats, hello kitty and godzilla are regular stars. but last night it was apparently my turn, so i told a story of godzilla rising from a laboratory at the local university and destroying the town we live in. of course, my spouse - genius that he is - saved the day with the judicious placement of a sleeping-pill-laced lean cuisine on top of a freight car.

everyone knows that godzilla's favorite snack is a train. ;)

yes, it was a goofy story, but razi seemed to like it.

may i interest you in a fine whine?

last night my spouse got home, took one look at me, and asked me if i wanted to go out alone for an hour to myself. i must have looked pretty bad.

of course, i really appreciated my spouse's generosity, but my neighbor/friend becky couldn't go out, so that was a bummer, and becky suggested TJ Maxx, and that turned out to be horribly depressing. because there i learned that i am a chestless wonder who can't afford decent shoes and whose taste in dresses is so far off the beaten path of normal that it might as well be martian. plus the only cute tshirts are in junior's sizes and would look ridiculous on me, so i am just broken.

then i ended up at the supermarket, which is where every mother of three wants to spend her last half hour of totally free-n-clear / guilt-free / alone / whatever-i-want-to-do time.

then this morning lilah had the most massive tantrum when it was time to leave her sister at preschool. of course, i realized after 5 or 6 minutes of her screaming on the floor that i, mother-of-the-year, forgot to FEED her, so no wonder the poor thing was a total wreck. sigh.

then when i got her home i was sitting here in between bouts of cleaning the front room for her always-late speech therapist (today: 36 minutes late and counting) and she brought me a copy of the cat in the hat and said, clear as you could want: "cat a hat" !!!!!! so i wanted to read it to her immediately. of course, she brought me a copy in hebrew. blasted spouse and his charming, useless ideas about learning hebrew with children's books. i tried to interest her in a different story but she asked for TV instead and i caved.